How To Push Through Mental Barrier? 20 Strategies for Mental Toughness!

 

  “Increasing the strength of our minds is the only way to reduce the difficulty of life.”

― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

 

Courtesy- Reuters

 01:59:40 read the electronic board at the finish line of INEOS 159 Challenge, a Marathon run. The 34 year old humble and soft-spoken Kenyan  Eluid Kipchoge became the first human to complete a Marathon distance under 2 hrs. The feat which many thought not possible in the near future.

 

After researchers crunched data from world marathon records over the last 60 years, they predicted that men will break 2:00 in the marathon in 2032, according to a study published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.

 

Whatever the sceptics or the researches said, he was confident that he shall be able to break the record. During one of the interviews he said:

 

No human is limited. It is not about the  legs, it is about the heart and mind.

 

There are other athletes who are as gifted as he is however his mental strength sets him apart from rest of them. His mental toughness, his self belief helped him to run sub 2 hrs marathon.

In life all of us hit a road block, the obstacles seems to be insurmountable. When the odds are stacked against us, we might get tempted to call it a quit. However, there is one quality which determines whether we continue despite all difficulties or not, and that is our Mental Toughness.

 

Michael Phelps in his book : Not Limits, The Will To Succeed says:

 

At he highest level of sports, and especially at the Olympics, you have to expect that everyone competing against you has physical talent.  How do you channel peak performance into championship performance? You have to be mentally tough, that’s how.

 How do you get to be mentally tough? You have to train your mind just, like you train your body.

Unleash your imagination. Work hard. Embrace obstacles, difficulties, and mistakes.

You cannot expect yourself to demonstrate mental toughness at the face of adversity if you have not been practising it in your daily life consistently.

If one analyses the great feats achieved in any sphere of our life, one can clearly see one common key element in it. Be it Edison, Wright Brothers, Micheal Jordon, Mohammed Ali, Federer, Eluid Kipchoge etc. All of them were mentally super duper tough.

Oftentimes we get mesmerised by their superhuman performance and concluded that they were born with such mental toughness, however we fail to see the relentless efforts they had put in to achieve the results we see today. They were ordinary people like most of us, but they practiced very hard every day consistently to cultivate their mental toughness.

 

I am sharing with you the strategies, adopted by the great people, to become mentally strong:

1.      Unwavering Focus

 In order to become mentally strong you must have an unwavering laser sharp focus. You ought to be able to keep out all the distractions which may hamper your focus.

Don’t listen to naysayers, just focus on the task at hand.

What you focus on grows. So put your focus on things that you want rather what you don’t want. When ever you find yourself distracted ask yourself “ Is this the best use of my time?” Or “ Will this activity help me in achieving my goals?”

2.    Push Beyond Your Comfort Zone

 

Your mental strength is a muscle which will grow with regular exercise. If you have started on a running program and have been running 5 km consistently everyday; initially you will see improvement in your stamina, and reduction in weight. 

However after some time you will not see any perceptible change in you as the body has become adapted to the stress of running 5 Km everyday or in other words your body has become comfortable with running 5 km everyday. So if you want to improve then you will have to increase your running mileage.

Same is the case with mental toughness. You got to push beyond your current comfort level to develop your mental toughness.

Do the thing which you have been avoiding to do. Take more risks. Push the envelop.

 

3.    Callous Your Mind

The ability to continue moving when you are feeling scared, fearful or lazy is the sign of true mental strength.”

― Matthew Donnelly

As David Goggins says Callous Your Mind. Make your self immune to physical and mental stress/ pain by exposing yourself to difficult situations. Take up ice bath challenge, deliberately expose yourself to face rejection( rejection therapy), sign up for public speaking class, go run a marathon or a ultramarathon.

 

In the army soldiers are put through so much of physical and mental stress so that it makes their mind callous, which makes them to perform well under stress in combat situations. They are broken physically and mentally during the training so that they don’t break during the life and death situations.

4.    Tame the Monkey Mind

We are inundated with countless thoughts during the day without any real control over what we think. We keep talking to ourselves the whole day.  This constant chatter inside our heads is what shapes our mental state. Most of the time we have no control over this self talk. It is purely driven by the circumstances or the emotions we are experiencing.

Getting into the state of thoughtlessness is not expected or desirable for people like us. Nor have we reached to the state where we have total control over our thoughts.

It is also not possible to keep a track of all thoughts we think throughout the day. So we need a mechanism to short circuit our negative self talk.

A few ways of doing it:

·       Every morning you could pick up a motivational quote and during the day keep repeating and reflecting on it. When your mind is already occupied it will not have room for other negative  self talk.

·       One can repeat a mantra throughout the day.

·       You can focus your attention to your breathing. Just focus on your incoming and outgoing breath without trying to control it.

·       You can do belly breathing during the day to divert your attention from mental chatter.

5.    Use 1 min Rule

 When the going gets tough,  we may get tempted to call it a quit. When you face such a situation coax yourself to hang in there only for one minute, and once the minute is over hang in there one more minute. Soon you would be motivated enough to persist with the task at hand.

You can use 1 min rule for starting on any task that you have been procrastinating for long. Attempt to do the task only for one minute. When you tell your mind to do the job only for 1 min it does not get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task and can easily moves be to action.

6.    Visualisation

Visualisation is a very powerful tool which has been used by all successful people effectively. It is said that the things are created twice, once in the mind and then it’s physical manifestation. Before you set out to face any difficulty situation, run a movie in your mind how you would face it. Visualise how you would face any adversity confidently and efficiently.

In his book, No Limits- the will to succeed, Michael Phelps narrates an incident of 2008, Beijing Olympics. He was participating in 200 m butter fly finals, his goggles started leaking at 50 m mark. 

At 100 his vision started getting more and more blurry. With 75 m to go his goggles completely filled with water and he could not see anything.

At such a crucial juncture, a final of an Olympic event and chasing his dream of braking Mark spitz’s record, anyone could have panicked and made mistake. 

However, Phelps narrates, that there was no time to think. At that instant he asked   himself “ What is important now?” He had to go hard and fast. That is what he did.

He started counting his strokes and eventually  finished the race. After the race he ripped his goggles off, the looked up, breathing hard, shaking his head, at the board. He had won the race shattering the World Record.

Where did Phelps got the mental strength to continue despite the catastrophe, which could have caused frenzy in other athletes. 

Michel Phelps had visualised for such eventuality during his visualisation sessions. So when he went blind, it was a familiar situation which he had visualised so many times.

That is the power of visualisation.

7.      Meditation

 Meditation is a practice that fosters mental stamina, perseverance, and the ability to openly receive.”

― Amy Leigh Mercree, A Little Bit of Meditation: An Introduction to Mindfulness

A peaceful and tranquil mind is unfazed by any difficulty. It is not overwhelmed by emotions or feelings. One can not over emphasise its importance in developing razor sharp focus,  tranquility and mental toughness. One need not spend hours, even 15-20 min everyday is good enough to reap the benefits.

 

 8.    Practice Mindfulness

Being present in the moment and focusing your complete attention on the task at hand is called mindfulness. When we are totally engrossed in the activity without any anxiety about the result or what others will think or say, you persist in the face of adversity. 

To cultivate mindfulness consider the task at hand, however small it may be, as the most important task in the world.

 9.    Take Responsibility- Don’t make excuses

“If it is to be, it is up to me!” Like anything else in life becoming mentally tough is a choice. So if you want to become mentally tough then take responsibility and throw away the excuses you may have.

 One can come up with lots of excuses outside of him to rationalise one’s poor mental strength. However, all the excuses outside have no power on the person who has assumed full ownership for his own life.

10.    Know your Why?

Your Why is more important than your how? When you have a reason big enough to consume your being, you will not be overwhelmed by any obstacle. No amount of resistance or adversity can halt your progress. People like Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Mandela etc had such a strong why in their lives that even the threat of death could not deter them from achieving their goal.

Once might say that these people were born mentally tough, which is not correct. When Rosa Parks refused to vacate her seat for a white passenger while travelling in a bus, it started a civil rights movement in the USA. Subsequent to her arrest, bus boycott movement was initiated in Montgomery, Alabama.

The boycott supporters chose the Baptist Minister, Martin Luther King Jr. their leader. He reluctantly accepted the responsibility thrust upon him. 

One can see that the leadership position was thrust upon him accidentally. However, when he took over the responsibility he persisted through difficulties to achieve his goal.

So have a compelling reason why you are doing something so that you can push through any adversity to achieve your dream

11.    See Challenges as Opportunities or Adventure

 

Things are not good or bad it’s our perception which makes it so. View difficulties as opportunities or adventure. The moment you change your perception the emotions associated with it also changes. Your mind will not longer will get threaten by the adversity and go into  survival mode. Rather it will enjoy the experience.

Change your perception to change your experience.

12.    Believe in yourself- have a strong self image

People who have strong self belief do not give up on their dreams. They are not affected by temporary set backs as they have a strong self image and believe in their capabilities to achieve their dreams. This strong self belief and self image gives them unshakable mental toughness.    

      

       13.    Be Self-Disciplined

Definition of self- discipline is doing things, when they are supposed to be done whether you feel like doing it or not. Be highly self disciplined if you want to become mentally strong. When you push yourself to do the things against your will or feeling, you will strengthen your mental strength.

You can perform small things on daily basis to improve your self discipline, like- getting up 30 min early in the morning, doing chores at home, doing exercise for 30 min, or saying no to your favourite dessert after dinner etc.  These small acts done over a period of time will strengthen your mental toughness so much that it will be able to face any adversity confidently and effectively.

 

14.    Be Ruthless with Yourself

 Set very high standard for yourself. If you have set the bar very high for yourself then only you will work hard to achieve it. Don’t be lenient on yourself. Until and unless you do not push yourself you will not know what you can achieve. 

You got to be ruthless with yourself, have no mercy on you because no one else will have. Take on any challenge coming your way, expose yourself to vagaries of life. Don’t over protect yourself, thrive on unknown. Remember you can not get out of life alive. So might as well use it completely before you kick the bucket.

 

 15.    Be Driven and Committed and not Just Motivated

 

 

How many time have you  faced the situation when you started off something new after getting motivated by reading a book or listening to tape? Only to find yourself falling back to your old ways when the motivation wears off after a few days.

People who accomplish extraordinary results are driven or committed to their cause. That drive gives them mental toughness to carry on in the face of danger.

Anyone can go on when the going is easy, only the people who are driven, persist when the pain sets in. Give yourself up to the task, surrender to it.

 

 16.    40 % Rule

David Goggins, a former Navy Seal, has popularised  40% rule to overcome mental barriers and improve your mental toughness. He says when you feel that you have reached  your limits and can not carry on, you are only spent 40% of your energy and 60% is still left in the tank.

 I fully agree with him, when you feel that you are done you can dig deep inside you to  tap into your reserve to carry on. Next time when you feel like quitting, remind yourself that you still have 60% left in reserve.

 

 17.    Master your Feelings and Emotions

 I feel that emotions and feelings are the most abused or misused words by people who are mentally week. They would blame their weakness on feelings or emotions by saying I did not feel like doing it, hence they did not start a task or quit in between. Basically it is a cloak behind which they can hide their weaknesses.

 People who are not capable of mastering their emotions tend to throw in towel when the getting gets tough, or people start criticising them or the failure seems inevitable. Mentally strong people have mastered the art of  managing their emotions or feelings. They go out and perform whether they feel like doing it or not. They push forward regardless of other people’s opinions. They remain unfazed in the face of failure also.

 They practice mastering their emotions through Meditation and Visualisation daily. Feelings are nothing but bodily sensations.

 You can try the following exercise whenever you are overwhelmed by any feeling/ emotions like: anger, fear, jealousy etc:

 

The moment you become aware of any feeling in you, bring back your attention to

a) your breath- it will be shallow and fast

b) your body- you can feel strong sensations throughout your body like ants crawling all over or feel blood running in your veins.

Accept the presence of feelings in you and observe the sensations in your body. Just observe the sensations without trying to get rid of it. While observing your sensations concentrate on your breathing without trying to control it, this will help in slowing down your breathing. If the emotions are very strong you may try belly breathing and focus your attention on rise and fall of your belly.

No sensation can remain forever in your body. As you continue observing your bodily sensation they will disappear after a while with that your emotion will also disappear. Your mastery over your feeling will become stronger with regular practice.

18.    Be Hungry

You ought to be very very hungry in order to become mentally tough. A person who is gasping for air will do anything to get air to breath. He will bulldoze through any opposition to breath.

You need to have such a hunger to achieve your dreams that no matter what obstacle, you will smash through it to achieve it. Your hunger will act as a fire for your mental toughness.

19.    Don’t Focus on Consequences

It is often said that when faced with a problem think what worst can happen and then take action.

I used this advise while descending a hill, during one of the trekking expedition. It was a little tricky descend, I had negotiated such descend many times without even thinking about it. However that day I was little hesitant, I thought to myself what worse can happen? The answer was very simple and straightforward, I can die if I slip while descending.

I stopped dead in my tracks, I was not able to move an inch forward. This is the worst thing which could happened when you are faced with a difficult situation. I regained my composure and negotiated the obstacle without any difficulty. Then I realised that thinking worst case scenario is not always helpful.

Most the time people quit because of perceived unfavourable consequences. When they feel that they shall not be able to achieve their goal, they just give up without trying hard.

Don’t think about consequences rather focus on the process. When you are not bothered about the consequences you shall be able to enjoy the task at hand then no obstacle will bother you.

 

 20.    Associate with Mentally Strong People

Your personality is shaped by the company you keep. The good or the bad qualities of people you associate with rubs off on you as well.

If you want to develop mental toughness, associate with people who themselves are mentally tough.

 

 Summing Up

 

          1.    Unwavering Focus-  When ever you find yourself distracted ask yourself “ Is this the best use of my time?” Or “ Will this activity help me in achieving my goals?”

 2.    Push Beyond Your Comfort Zone-  Do the thing which you have been avoiding to do. Take more risks. Push the envelop.

3.      Callous Your Mind

4.      Tame the Monkey Mind-  A few ways of doing it:

·       Every morning you could pick up a motivational quote and ruling the day keep repeating and reflecting on it. When your kind is already occupied it will not have room for other negative self talk.

·       One can repeat a mantra throughout the day.

·       You can focus your attention on your breathing.

·       You can do belly breathing during the day to divert your attention from mental chatter.

           5.     Use 1 min Rule- Hang in for one more minute when you are tempted to quit

     6.    Visualisation – visualise the results you want clearly and vividly.

7.      Meditation – Atleast 15-20 min every day

 8.      Practice Mindfulness

9.      Take Responsibility- Don’t make excuses- “If it is to be, it is up to me!”.

10.    Know your Why? - Your Why is more important than your how?

11.     See Challenges as Opportunities or adventure- Change your perspective.

12.     Believe in yourself- have a strong self image

13.    Be Self Disciplined - Self discipline is doing things when they are supposed to be done whether you feel like doing it or not.

14.    Be Ruthless with Yourself- Set very high standard for yourself. Remember you can not get out of life alive. So might as well use it completely before you kick the bucket.

15.    Be Driven and Committed and not just Motivated- Give yourself up to the task, surrender to it.

16.    40 % Rule- Next time when you feel like quitting, remind yourself that you still have 60% left in reserve.

17.     Master your Feelings and Emotions- Perform the task whether you feel like doing or not.

18.     Be Hungry- You ought to be very very hungry in order to become mentally tough.

19.     Don’t Focus on Consequences- Don’t thing about consequences rather focus on the process. When you are not bothered about the consequence you shall be able to enjoy the task at hand then any obstacle encounter will not bother you.

20.     Associate with Mentally Strong People

 

 Share your strategies for overcoming obstacles in the comment section below!