Why Don't People Succeed?

 

“Dad why don’t people succeed”?

This was the question my teenage daughter asked me a few weeks ago.

Initially I was taken aback by her question because at age 12 kids have better things to think about. At least I did not think about such things when I was at that age.

I tried explaining to her the reason why majority of the population does not succeed? This is the conversation we had:

 

Goals/Dreams Vs Wishful Thinking

Dreams are not those which we see when we sleep but they are those which do not let us sleep… Dr APJ Abdul Kalam

Successful people have dreams and goals, whereas ordinary people have wishes. They mistake their wishes for dreams.

They wish to be successful…

They wish to be rich…

They wish to achieve XYZ in their life…

Wishful thinking does not have the energy, life and commitment behind it, hence they do not achieve anything worthwhile.

To achieve success in life one must have dreams and not wishes.

They Sell Themselves Short

 

The height of your life is determined by the height of your dreams.

Not so successful people sell themselves short.

Even when they set themselves goals, they do not set big goals. Their goals do not challenge them. They choose goals which are within their comfort zones. Which is the recipe for a mediocre life.

In our professional lives, every year we set goals for ourselves. You would have noticed that if you set low goals, it does not excite you, you are not very eager to achieve it and keep procrastinating on it.

Whereas if your goal is a stretch goal, you put in all your energy behind it to achieve.

Think Big, Set Big Goals.

 

They Don’t Know What They Want

A whole lot of people are confused, they actually don’t know what they want. They get motivated by everything which is in vogue. If they read or watch about an entrepreneur, they want to become an entrepreneur. After a few days they get motivated by a famous writer or an athlete or a public speaker, and they wish to follow their footstep.

As such they are torn between different things that catches their fancy, not able to make up their mind what is that they really want out of life?

It is essential we know the destination we want to reach so that we can tread or create the path which takes us there.

 

They are not Willing to Pay the Price

There are no free lunches in life. You don’t get something for nothing. Before you get something you have to give out something. It is as simple as this.

Ordinary people do want to succeed, but they are not willing to pay the price.

To be successful, one has to sacrifice one’s comforts today for a bright tomorrow.

Many of us have been made to believe in the concept of OVERNIGHT SUCCESS. And the not so successful people are waiting for that moment when they too would become an overnight success.

Well they might have to wait till eternity.

 

They Lack Self Belief

Whenever you hear or read about a successful person, you start looking for the qualities or attributes which made him or her successful.

 If you wanted to learn from it then it is a great thing but most of the time you are trying to figure out what advantages that guy/girl had in life which contributed to his/her success.

Oh! What big deal…..

He was Harvard Educated. I went to an average college.

He/she had a great coach, which contributed to his success. If I had a similar coach, I too would be a world class athlete.

He was born talented…

And the list goes on.

Ordinary people are master in rationalising why they do not succeed.

The greatest reason why most of the people don’t succeed because they lack belief in themselves.

They even don’t expect themselves to succeed. They wish to succeed.

Winners achieve their goals in spite of all the obstacles and limitations. They believe and expect themselves to succeed.

 

Fear of Failure

“I will be devastated if I do not succeed” “It will be the end of the world” This is what goes on in the mind of an average person.

“ So what if I fail, I shall learn from it” “ Path to success goes through the aisles of failures” this is how a successful person perceives failure.

Failure has made out to be the worst thing that can happen in one’s life.

This makes an average person so scared of failure that he is not willing to take a risk to begin.

Until and unless one is not at peace with failure, and consider it an integral part of the journey, one can not hope to achieve great heights in life.

 

They Misunderstand Knowledge to Wisdom

Knowledge is knowing something, and Wisdom is experiencing it. This distinction between knowledge and wisdom is very simple.

My daughter also asked me, "Don’t people know how to be successful?"

 

There are so many books written on it. So many tapes, audio books, videos made on success which are devoured by millions of people. Still they have not been able to make any remarkable change in their lives.

How true her observations is? Go to any book store, it is full of self help books. There are so many motivational videos on internet/you tube which are watched by so many people.

People feel that reading books or watching motivational videos will change their lives. That is not going to happen, by reading books you will gain knowledge.

Until you do not put into practice the strategies mentioned in the books there will be no change in your life.

Whenever you read a book learn 1 or 2 things which appeal to you and practice it till such time it does not become a habit.

 That is how you change yourself, by doing and not by reading alone.

 

They Give Up

Winners never quit and quitters never win- Vince Lombardi

The biggest differentiator between a success and a failure is that the successful person hangs in there some more time.

Perseverance, not giving up is the hallmark of a successful person. It does not matter what the obstacles are, how many times he fails. He will make his way through the obstacle and make every failure his stepping stone to succeed in life.

Whereas the failures, gives up at the very sight of the first obstacle.

Never Ever Give Up.

 

They Live Other People’s Dreams

An average person is living someone else’s dream. When he/she was in college they chose the profession, their parents wanted.  When they got married their decisions are influenced by their spouses and thereafter their kids.

In office, their boss and colleagues dictate what and how he/she will do or act.

In the nutshell he/she lives a life like a puppet whose strings are pulled by everyone in all directions without even asking its desire.

Live a life of your dreams, live life on your own terms.

 

False Belief System

“Money does not grow on trees” “ One has to be a crook to be successful”. We have heard these expressions since our childhood.

This has created a false belief system in us which says that money is evil, to be successful one has to step on other people’s shoulders, an honest person can not become successful.

This is far from the truth. This belief system has been spread across by unsuccessful people to rationalise their failures.

Shun away all the false belief systems you may have.

Have faith in your ability and work hard and no goal will be beyond your reach.

 

After this long sermon to my daughter, I also looked deep inside me to assess what is that holding me back!

 

You also take a step back and reach within you to find what is the biggest impediment in your way to success? Take the bull by the horn and persevere until you crush it!