How to Stop Your Thoughts From Sabotaging Your Life?
Think happy thoughts!
Think sunshine all the day;
Refuse to let the trifling worries stay,
Crowd them with thoughts of laughter from your mind.
Think of the good, forget the bad you find,
Think of the sun behind the clouds; the blue
And not the gray skies that you view.
Think of the kindness not the meanness shown,
The true friends not the false ones you have known;
The joy and not the hatred of the strife,
The sweetness not the bitterness of life.
Think happy thoughts!
Think happy thoughts!
Think always of the best,
Think of the ones you love, not those that you detest;
Think of your victories and not your failures here,
The smile that pleased and not the hurtful sneer,
The kindly word and not the harsh word spoken,
The promise kept and not the promise broken;
The good that you have known and not the bad,
The happy days that were and not the sad;
Think of the rose and not the withered flower,
The beauty of the rainbow, not the shower.
Think happy thoughts!
Think happy thoughts!
This is true happiness!
That life is sad that feeds on its distress;
That mind is gloomy that subsists on gloom,
And is as dismal as a curtained room,
Where daily comes the sunshine, but to find
It cannot enter through the close-drawn blind.
Fling up the curtains of your mind today
And let the morning sunshine in to play;
Dwell on the joys and not the sorrows here,
Master your thoughts and you have mastered fear.
Think happy thoughts.
Edgar Albert Guest
Imagine this: you are standing in front of a Thought Controller (like a financial Controller) and he says to you:
"You have been fined $1000 for thinking rotten thoughts
during the month"
or
"Congratulations you have earned $1000 for thinking
empowering thoughts during the month"
I propose a system wherein you are penalised or
rewarded for the thoughts you think during the month. You’ll get a debit for
every rotten thought and a credit for every good thought you think.
At the end of the month, you would be called to the Thought Controller's office, and based on your ‘thought balance sheet’ your reward or penalty would be announced.
When you will be charged or earn money for your thoughts,
you would be more particular about what thoughts you think.
Which category do you
think you will fall in; earning money or paying penalty?
The Power of Thought has been recognised and practiced by great philosophers, thinkers, and religious leaders of the past and present alike.
What distinguishes a success from a failure is his thought.
“Every thought we think is creating our future.”-- Louise Hay
Prince Siddharth Gautama while touring his kingdom saw
people suffering and was struck by the thought "What is the cause of
suffering? How can I end suffering?" This thought compelled him to renounce his
kingdom, family, etc to become Gautam Buddha.
" How can I end apartheid in South Africa?" the thought that gave courage, patience, and purpose to Nelson Mandela to spend 28 years in prison, and suffer atrocities at the hands of the South African govt.
“ Who Am I?” Ramana Maharishi introspected incessantly on
this thought that led him to enlightenment.
Why one person becomes Hitler and another person Buddha?
It is their thoughts. Hitler is one of the most despised
people in the history of mankind. His Nazi Salute and Swastik symbol still
evokes intense feelings in people, even after 78 years of his death.
His thoughts were about destruction, violence, revenge, killing, hatred, etc. His thoughts were responsible for the brutal killing of millions of people during WW II. On the other hand, Buddha's thoughts were filled with love, compassion, peace, and ending suffering in mankind. The major difference between them was their dominant thoughts.
A man becomes a God or a beast due to his thoughts.
Your character, life, and destiny are shaped by the thoughts
that you think throughout the day. Your outward circumstances are the result of
your thinking.
Effect of Thoughts
All your stresses, anxieties, fear, etc. are created by your
thoughts. Why do you feel fearful, even before you face the situation? It is
what you tell yourself, i.e. your thoughts, about the future event that creates
fear in you.
If someone criticises you or uses cuss words on you, you feel offended. Why? Because you think in your mind that the person is unfair in criticising you. Most of our troubles are created by our thoughts.
“The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.”
Types of Thinking
As I see it there are two types of thinking:
1) Objective
Thinking
2) Subjective
Thinking
Objective thinking means
you see things as they are. You neither see them as negative nor positive. You accept them as they are.
A few days back I was traveling by road. Since the road was freshly laid the ride was very smooth. After a while we reached the stretch of the road that was old, worn out, and with potholes. The moment our vehicle hit the worn-out patch, we started experiencing a bumpy ride. As I had learned, I decided to look at the positive side of it.
I told myself,” After all
this road is not that bad. I have travelled on the road that are in worse condition
than this.” But I could not convince myself to accept this statement
because I knew the condition of the road was bad.
Then I asked myself- why shouldn't I accept the fact that the road
is bad? There is nothing wrong with accepting that because that is what the
reality was.
I accepted that the road's condition was not good, however, did not whine or complain about it,
and did not get frustrated because of that. That slight shift in my thinking
made it easy for me to travel through the maze of potholes happily.
I would recommend you have objective or neutral thinking.
That is accepting things as they are without whining, complaining, criticising,
resenting, or getting frustrated about them.
The second type of thinking is Subjective Thinking.
There are two types of thoughts, negative and positive. Both are subjective
irrespective of whether it is positive or negative. In both cases, you are
trying to see the event/ circumstances other than what they are.
We have been told to look at the bright side of everything,
but I would say look at the real side of everything, for what it is.
Let's understand this with the help of an example. We will
take the example of the Apartheid regime in South Africa. The coloured people
were subjected to racial discrimination. They were considered second-grade
citizens in their own country by the ruling white people.
If you were to look at the bright side of the situation you could tell yourself” Things could have been worse. I should be thankful that I am still alive.” Would you be able to change anything with this kind of thinking? You would only be successful in numbing your pain for some time.
Nelson Mandela and others accepted the situation as bad. They did not moan or complained or felt resentful about it. Instead, they sought to change the situation with all their might.
Imagine Your Forehead as a Giant Electronic Display Screen
Imagine that your forehead is a giant electronic display
screen. Whatever thoughts you think are being projected on this electronic
display screen instantaneously, and everyone in the world can see it.
Whenever you think of any thought, remind yourself that
this thought is going to be displayed on the screen and can be read by everyone
else. Would you be comfortable if people get to know what you are thinking
about? If not, then change your thinking and think the thoughts you would not
feel embarrassed to appear on the display screen.
STOP Technique to Change your Thoughts
Your feelings and actions are influenced by your thoughts. What you think will create corresponding feelings in you which will drive you to take action. Empowering thoughts will produce positive actions whereas disempowering thoughts will produce negative actions.
“As you think so shall you Act”
Hence, you must stop your thoughts before it spirals out of
control. For that, you need to know how to stop or change your thoughts.
You can use the Stop technique to change your thoughts. It
has four phases:
i) The moment you are aware that you are thinking self-defeating thoughts say STOP loudly in your mind three times.
ii) After saying stop, say some soothing, positive words to yourself within. Or say the words opposite to the thoughts that you are thinking in your mind. For example, if you are thinking stressful thoughts, say words like- peace, joy, and happiness. If it is fear then you can say words like- courage, bravery, I can handle it, etc. Say these words 10 times.
iii) After verbalising words internally, you may imagine a scene your past that will fill you with positive feelings. It could be the happiest moment of your life, playing with your kid, the moment when you achieved success in life, or a vacation. Imagine that event as vividly as possible. Feel it as if you are experiencing it right now.
iv) Breathe Triangle- Do a 4-4-4 breathing exercise. Let me explain how to do it.
Inhale slowly to the count of 4. Now exhale
slowly to the count of 4. After exhalation hold your breath to the count of 4.
This is one cycle. Repeat this breathing cycle 10 times.
Set Aside Time to Think Negative Thoughts
You don’t have to be scared of every negative thought that
comes to your mind. After all lots of good things emerge out of negative
experiences in life. You may deliberately choose to spend some time to reflect over
your nutty thoughts.
If you catch yourself thinking negative thought, and feel that you need to
spend some time on it, set aside a specific time to reflect over it. You may set aside 5,10 or 15 mins for this purpose. Once the scheduled time is over stop
thinking about it and get on with your normal life. There is a possibility that
you may get carried away while thinking, losing track of the time; to overcome
this you can set a timer on your phone as a reminder.
Deliberate Thinking
"Men simply don't think" was the reply from Dr.
Albert Schwitzer, the Noble Prize winner doctor, when a reporter asked him, "Doctor what is wrong with men today?”
Doesn’t it sound paradoxical to you? You would be thinking that your biggest problem is that you think too much. However, throughout the day you think these thoughts unconciously. You have not chosen to think these thoughts.
Now ask yourself- when was the last time you sat down to
think deliberately, to find a solution to your problem or to create something? Most
of your thoughts are reactions to some event, news, or deep-rooted habit
patterns. You don't exercise your faculty of thinking to the optimum level.
You can take out some time ,30-60 min every day, to think
about your life, goals, purpose, your passion, helping people, etc; other than
your work life. This will simple exercise will completely change your life.
When I am talking about controlling your thoughts. I am not
advocating for you to become a positive thinker. I am encouraging you to become
an objective thinker, but without whining, resenting, and complaining. Don’t make things worse than
what they are with your thoughts.
You must treat your thoughts with utmost importance. Think only those thoughts that you would like to become a reality.
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind
is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.
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