10 Strategies to Push Through Your Fears!

 

 

 On a full moon night, Krishna and his brother Balaram were walking in the forest. It was late at night, they decided to spend the night in the forest itself.

 

Since it was a dangerous forest, they decided that one of them will keep a watch while the other person is asleep. It was Balaram’s turn to keep the watch first. He heard a sound of growl at a distance. He saw a monster coming towards him. The monster growled again, and Balaram trembled in fear.

 

Every time Balaram trembled in fear, the monster became bigger. The monster grew bigger and bigger as Balaram tremble more in fear. The monster came close to Balaram. Terrified, Balaram screamed “Krishna! Krishna!” and fell unconscious.

 

Krishna woke up and saw Balaram sleeping, he thought it must be his turn to keep the watch. After some time,  he heard the growling sound and found the monster standing close by.

 

The monster tried to scare off Krishna, but he stood steadfast in front of the Monster. Every time Krishna faced the monster courageously it shrank in size. He became so small that Krishna picked him up and put him in his side pocket.

 

In the morning when Balaram woke up, he narrated the story of the monster to Krishna. Krishna took out the monster from his pocket and asked, “ Is this the same monster?”

 

“Yes, but how did he become so small?” enquired Balaram

 

“Every time I question it, it shrank in size” replied Krishna.

 

"Everytime we are afraid, our fears grow big, but every time we face them and question them, they become smaller and smaller."  Concluded Krishna

 

 

Fear is the strongest emotion we human beings have. We have been conditioned to believe that fear is bad. Like any other emotion fear also has a purpose and place in our life.

 

Fear in itself is not bad. The problem comes when we allow fear to overwhelm us and dictate our actions.

 

It is a very strong force which can work for you or against you, depending upon how you use it. For example you have to give a speech in your office and this would be your first experience in giving speech to a large audience. You are scared that you will make a fool of yourself if you don’t perform well.

 

 With that fear at the back of your mind you do research on public speaking, prepare your speech well, and practice in front of mirror or your family members.  With confidence in your preparation you deliver your speech very well, despite all the butterflies in your stomach. This how you use far constructively.

 

On the other hand if you allowed the fear to get better of you, you would spend your entire time in anxiety with little practice. On the D-day your performance will be a disaster.

Why Do We Fear?

 

Imagine an incident which would invoke fear response in you. Now ask yourself is there anyone who would face the same situation without getting scared. More often than not you would find someone who can face the situation without blinking an eyelid.

 

This goes to prove that most of the time it is not the situation which is responsible for our fears but our thought about the situation which is responsible our fears.

 

You become fearful about an event/ situation when you feel helpless in dealing with it. This could be due to following reasons:

 

1.                   we overestimate the scale of the adversity

2.                   we under estimate our capabilities to cope with the event/situation

3.                   we perceive we will no to be able to handle to consequences

 

When we have a positive attitude, strong self-belief and trust in our ability to handle the situation and its consequences we shall be able to push through our fears.

 

The following strategies will help you to overcome your fears:

 

1.           Accept the Fear

 

One of the biggest mistakes we make while dealing with our fears is that we start resisting/fighting it. Many a time we fear feeling scared.

 

The first step to work with fear is to accept it. We ought to accept that it is ok to feel scared when we are trying to move beyond our comfort zone. The moment you accept your fear you are at peace with it, and you do not waste your energy fighting it.

 

 2.           Expose Yourself to Your Fears

 

The best anecdote to fear is to expose yourself to the events and situations you are afraid of. If you are scared to public speaking start speaking to smaller friendly group of people. Once you are comfortable speaking in front of them, speak to smaller group of unknown people in an informal setting. Slowly you can increase the size of the group as you become more comfortable.

 

The more you expose yourself to fear evoking situations the better you would become handling them.

 

 

3.           What Worse Can Happen?

 

When you face a fearful situation ask yourself,” What worse can happen?”  When you know what the consequence would be, you make peace with it.

 

Now that you know what can happen go ahead to do the task.

 

 

4.           Change Your Perspective

 

It is not the event but our perception of it which evokes fear in us. So, if you change the perception your feelings/emotions will also change.

 

You can reframe the situation you are in. Instead of saying, “I am scared of unknown.” You may say “I am curious to know what lies ahead.” The moment you change thoughts you will have a different perspective about the situation.

 

If you are experiencing fear that means you are doing something which you don’t normally do. You could tell yourself that since you are feeling uncomfortable doing this task, it is a sign that you are growing beyond your comfort zone.

 

Change your perspective to change your experience.

 

 

5.           Take Action- 5 Second Rule

 

If you are afraid of doing something the remedy is to take action. As Nike ad say Just Do It. Don’t get into excessive analysis paralysis. The moment you overthink you will feel more anxious.

 

If you are hesitant to take action, then use 5 sec rule. This rule was popularised by Mel Robbins in her book 5 Second Rule. She suggests that if you are scared of doing something just count 5-4-3-2-1 and take action.

 

Our mind can focus on one thing at a time. If the mind is busy in taking action, it will not think fearful thoughts.

 

6.           Visualisation

 

Visualisation is a very powerful tool which has been used by all successful people effectively. It is said that the things are created twice, once in the mind and then it’s physical manifestation.

 

Before you set out to face any fearful situation, run a movie in your mind how you would face it. Visualise how you would feel facing the situation and how you will respond to it courageously, confidently and efficiently.

 

You could use visualisation to change the bad experience associated with an past event. I have used the power of visualisation to cure myself of fear of flying.

 

 I would visualise myself travelling in an aircraft and  scared. Over a period of time I became comfortable with the feeling/sensation of being scared. Then I visualised myself controlling my feelings and replacing it with neutral feelings. And within a short period of practice I was able to overcome my fear.

 

7.           Be in the Moment

 

The fear is either in the past or in the future. Most of the time we are scared of our past actions or about future events.

 

When we are present in the moment, we no longer think about past or future events. Our entire focus is in the task at hand. We are not thinking about the consequence of the task.

 

Hence cultivate the habit of giving your entire attention to the work you are doing.

 

8.           Manage Your Self-Talk

 

We keep talking to ourselves the whole day.  This constant chatter inside our heads is what shapes our mental state. Most of the time we have no control over this self talk. It is purely driven by the circumstances or the emotions we are experiencing.

 

When you face a fear evoking situation focus on your inner talk. If you find yourself feeding negative thoughts stop it immediately and focus on the positive thoughts instead.

 

Tell yourself, “I am capable to handle this situation. I will be able to handle the consequence of this event/situation."

 

You may repeat an affirmation or mantra to reinforce positivity and courage.

9.           What Would be the Consequence of Not Doing?

 

Whenever you find yourself giving in to your fears, remind yourself what will be the consequences of surrendering to fears.

 

Fear not that you will fail, fear that you will not realise your full potential. Fear not that you will be humiliated fear that you will lead a mediocre life.

 

Remind yourself: this is one life you have got, might as live fearlessly on your own terms.                             

                A brave die once but a coward dies every day.

 

 

10.         Learn to Manage Your Feelings

 

Whenever you are afraid you will notice physiological changes in you. You will be filled with strong feelings. You may feel shortness of breathing, trembling, palpitation, sweating, tingling sensations throughout your body.

 

You must know how to manage your feelings in order to overcome your fears. The moment you become aware of your feelings bring back your attention to your body.

 

Accept the presence of feelings in you and observe the sensations in your body. Just observe the sensations without trying to get rid of it. While observing your sensations concentrate on your breathing without trying to control it, this will help in slowing down your breathing. If the emotions are very strong you may try belly breathing and focus your attention on rise and fall of your belly.

 

No sensation can remain forever in your body. As you continue observing your bodily sensation they will disappear after a while with that your emotion will also disappear. Your mastery over your feeling will become stronger with regular practice.

 

Summing Up:

 

1.           Accept the Fear

 

2.           Expose Yourself to Your Fears

 

3.           What Worse Can Happen?

 

4.           Change Your Perspective

 

5.           Take Action- 5 Second Rule

 

6.           Visualisation

 

7.           Be in the Moment

 

8.           Manage Your Self-Talk

 

9.           What Would be the Consequence of Not Doing?

 

10.         Learn to Manage Your Feelings

 

  

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
― Nelson Mandela